No, this isn’t about the time you woke up after a heavy night out, only to find a hefty, filthy, orange traffic cone and/or road sign(s) in your student kitchen (good times had by all).
Nor is it about, if you can picture this, road signs sharing a tipple or 10 at their local public house, waking up the next day with a couple of random humans in their hood. Although I know lots of people wake up in random hoods every weekend.
You know the triangular road signs with the thick, warning-coloured red outline that caution you about deer or horses crossing the road? Now there are road signs to warn Romanian drivers of drunk people crossing the road. Genius!
Oh my God, Mr. Prime Minister, please can you invest in these road signs for the UK? Not because we are known as Binge-Britain. And I am certainly not one of those annoyingly boring, fussy, complaining local residents who don’t know how to have a bit of fun. It would be a total waste of money. But one could actually be useful outside Infernos (aka my previous hobby) on Clapham High Street on a Saturday night? Give me a bell on the old dog and bone Gords (07333 123456) and we’ll have a chit chat at me local Spoons. It would also provide a bit of minor comical value to the old daily commute. God knows I could have done with one of those signs for my own personal road crossing safety a few times!
PS - Mum and Dad, I have never drunk alcohol in my life.
Let me know if he calls...
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