Monogamy - a hot topic of late. I am in a long-term relationship. And everytime I see this topic in the paper I instantly become a tiny bit paranoid wondering what my boyfriend thinks and feels, but always turning the page before I think any further.
Fidelity - you'll either live by it or you won't. Apparently, a third of relationships are affected by infidelity. Genes - feel free to cheat, just blame your animal ancestors. Apparently we are biologically programmed to be with more than one person. Technology - facebook, chat rooms, texting (or sexting as otherwise known) now make it easier for us to cheat. Pressure - when the honeymood period dwindles - which it often does - people feel they have failed and don't know what to do.
What a depressing outlook!
I love my boyfriend, and he loves me. If you care about someone that much, you will not hurt them.
So one third of relationships are affected by infidelity? That means two thirds are of relationships are not. Biologically programmed? Monogamy is also natural. Evolution explains feelings of jealousy and upset. So there are more routes for communication. If you're that keen to cheat you'll do more than just use facebook. And who has the time for all this anyway?! And pressure is part of any relationship.
More people stay faithful than don't. And I am choosing one amazing man and a stable life!
"And I am choosing one amazing man and a stable life! "
ReplyDeleteSame here, and I think it's so much better! I guess there's just people who will use any excuse, like genes...which is sad, but hey, mayb eone day they'll find someone so right it'll work for them...
But genetically we should be living in trees and eating raw meat. That's why we work on intellect, not biological imperative or whatever!
I liked this post! :)
I note that it is only men who use the 'genetically programmed/sowing their wild oats' excuse... surely the excuse most frequently used by women is that their partner wasn't showing them enough attention/ making them feel good/ or a revenge affair.
ReplyDeleteBut it's rubbish... we evolved monogomy early on because it gave the women and children more chance of survival to live in family groups...
At least if you're going to behave badly and cheat, at least take responsibility for your actions and don't blame genetics... Oh god, if Oli did such a thing and shrugged and said, 'sorry, what do you expect, it's natural and genetic' I'd throw him in front of a bus.
Not that he would, of course!!
Another thought I've had is that if you are going to live a non-monogamous life, it is arguably a selfish way to live if you also want to have children. People can be so individualistic!
ReplyDeleteIt is hardly fair on kids if you are bringing multiple partners into the home... surely? It sends confusing messages out. This is the sort of thing that is apparently contributable to social problems.
Then again, I have many friends who have seperated or divorced parents who have turned out fine.
But, essentially, I do not want a confusing, happy-sad, happy-sad, emotional rollercoaster ride of a life re men! You can either live an up and down life with a number of partners, or you can stick with your best friend for life through the good times and the bad...
Some of the kids at college have parents who seem to swap partners every other week, it's sad. I appreciate sometimes people make mistakes and divorce and try to find one other person (or noone at all, if they prefer), which is fair enough. But as you say, changing about all the time is really confusing and cruel to a child. :(
ReplyDeleteAw, yes, that's just it! <3